Turning 30

-
They say turning 30 is a watershed moment in a person’s life, ushering with it a greater sense of confidence and clarity.

But for me…at least right now…I have no clue where to begin.

 After all…it’s not every day you phase into a new decade.

Granted, I can appreciate the hearty buzz of a “happy new year”, the cordial texts from family members, not to mention the amusing Facebook comments from “friends” you’d least expect.

But this year…I can’t help but feel clouded, caught amid a ‘spectacular now’ and the rocky roads far past…yet faintly visible in the rear-view mirror.

*Sigh* I suppose what I’m trying to say is: I’m not ready to be 30.

I don’t feel it, don’t look it, and quite frankly, want nothing to do with it.

Not to sound cliché or anything; I get why people audit their value1 when they approach meaningful age markers.

I guess it’s just…though there’s much to look forward to and much to be thankful for…I just don’t know how to process my 20’s. I figure if I find a solution…any solution… maybe I’ll be able to look back and smile without it rooted in the contrast between what is and what was2.

Yet, while I admit there’s much I don’t understand, what I do know is:

I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m no longer who I used to be. 

And that’s okay, ‘cause I know despite what anyone says…I’m well on my way...
...in this inlet of transition.

Yes, it’s true I’ve been labeled before.

Unworthy, hopeless…even fake…

   …but deep down, I know who I am now…

…even if it took me 25…26 years and a couple wildernesses to get there.

So here’s to turning 30 as one burning the boats back to who he used to be…

…whose journey is still young as he. 

I may be a shadow of man undone…

…but praise God, my life has just begun3.

No doubt...the best is yet to come...

Footnotes

1)      Or better yet, their sense of value, meaningfulness, etc.
2)      And the evidence of having moved on
3)      Inspired by Neulore’s ‘Shadow of a Man’

Photo creds: theblowoff.com, linkedin.com

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Flash Weather: 2015-16 Winter Weather Forecast

-
Image
Well, folks. We’re only one week past the autumnal equinox…and I think we all know what that means… …break out the fall décor, have yourself a very merry pumpkin space latte , and check Cameron’s blog for yet another preliminary winter weather forecast. Now, I’m not gonna lie...my winter weather  forecast for middle Tennessee last year held up rather well. Granted, I normally don’t toot my own horn considering I’m just a humble, amateur meteorologist in it for the love of the science; however, after the multiple ice storms and ankle-biter snow events we experienced between January 23 - February 21, I’d have to say my “B+” grade, in terms of activity and magnitude, was the correct call. So as the leaves start changing and the days grow shorter, I’m sure many of you are wondering: what can we expect this winter. Well, I’m so glad you asked. Last year , I itemized and graded certain atmospheric criteria to obtain an overall grade for the winter. This year, I’ll foll...
Read more

The Red Umbrella

-
Image
I’ve always had a thing for red umbrellas 1 … …a peculiar liking considering my preference of wet over dry…and the fact my favorite colors are on the opposite end of the spectrum. So naturally…when my home church decided to set up a red umbrella by our welcome desk earlier this summer, my fascination couldn’t help but rekindle. What a nice touch , I thought 2 . This will add some flair to our lobby. But while the red umbrella, no doubt, offered a charming visual, the more I passed it by, the more I realized its unique significance, specifically, it wasn’t just some classy décor there to look cute; it was a landmark drawing people to a place they could connect 3 and discover hope 4 . Suddenly, I could sense the Spirit broadening my definition of the term. Yes, hope is a sure and steadfast expectation ( Proverbs 23:18 ), but this doesn't mean it's limited to a feeling about the future, a dollop of quixotic optimism 5 ...or pride in someth...
Read more

LEGACYouth: Rousing Resilience (Part 1)

-
Image
We all have heroes. Whether they’re family members or historical/cultural icons…we all have figures we look up to 1 . Of course, not all protagonists and champions are alike; however, when we consider their innate qualities, it’d be hard to find any who lacked some form of  resilience . What is resilience, you ask? Well, for starters, it’s the theme of this year’s  Acquire the Fire event  (hence, the topic’s prevalence). Yet, as far as definition goes, resilience bears rich substance 2 . I n fact, when we dig into Scripture 3 , we find resilience to be a number of things. Among them... A refusal to quit… A pledge to stand firm… Courage maintained… Boldness with honor… ...and a fearlessness rooted in two instinct-defying words...                     "I can't." 4 Now, I know it sounds weird, but when we confess this itty-bitty sentence to God, it ...
Read more